Becoming a Childhood Villain


Drawing myself as a villain, was so much fun.

It’s a weird feeling, when you’re watching your favourite childhood films, with your niece and realise you’ve become the villains from these movies. Probably worse, when you can really empathise and relate to these characters. These were the people, we were all terrified of as children. The ones that haunted our nightmares. The villains, our older siblings teased us about, telling us they were at the front door and here for us (as you can tell, my older siblings were just lovely to me).

Somehow, in the journey from childhood to adulthood, the world has twisted and bent me, to transform me from innocent child to childhood villain. The personality similarities between me and 3 of my childhood villains, in particular is quite shocking. I’ve even come out with the same 1 liners. It’s kind of scary.

These 3 villains, we all probably related to, at times. So, without delaying this further, I’ll explain to you, why I’ve become similar.

63aaf79a-039e-4ce1-9b87-28916246851fThe Grinch (2000)
Slap a brown wig on the Grinch, give him a higher pinch voice and you get me. Watching the Grinch now, is like watching a film, based on myself at Christmas. I hate Christmas, just as much as the Grinch and we have the same tolerance for people. I’m as grumpy and eccentric as the Grinch, but at the same time, I’m a complete softy, with a good heart.
We both have a love of mischief and one of my best buds is also my dog. In private, I talk like the Grinch and love my own company.
I think I’m just going to have to accept, that I’m the Grinch. Even our planners are similar. Nothing like, dinner with yourself, followed by self-loathing, to complete the perfect evening.

Miss Trunchbull from Matilda
Miss Trunchbull was one the scariest woman, you could come across, as a child. She was loud, angry, hated children and looked terrifying. She was the headmaster from hell and had the temperament of a Rottweiler, with a mouth full of bees. As a child, she was nightmare fuel.
Luckily, I have not developed her psychopathic tendency’s. I just find myself, using some of her sayings. Mainly, the “I’m big, you’re small” saying, when babysitting for my sister. That sounds mean, but anyone that’s had to argue, with a child over something ridiculous, will understand.
For example, I used it, when my nephew argued that I wasn’t an adult because I’m too short. He refuses to believe that I’m not a child, even though my age says differently. I also used it when, my sister’s children tried to convince me, that they’re allowed to give each other haircuts. All ridiculous, with no easy way of ending, just an argument.

7acee422-b42a-4f35-84fb-ccfa65607727Mary Sanderson from Hocus Pocus
For anyone that can’t remember, Mary Sanderson is the black-haired witch sister, with the crazy, gravity defying hair style.
Mary is one character, I can really empathise with. She appears to be of a nervous disposition and her sister treats her like dirt. Even though, she evil and wants to suck the life out of children, you can’t help but feel sorry for her. You can’t help but think, some of her actions are fuelled, by a fear of her older sister.
On first glance, Mary seems sweet and innocent. She also very supportive to her sisters and has a sort of calming influences on them. All these things, I share with Mary.
But the biggest similarity is, her dark side. If you listen to Mary, she says things that are very dark, for a children’s movie. She says these things, in just a sweet gentle way, that it passes over your head and you don’t realise the full extent of what she said. I’m not as bad as Mary, but I have a dark side like this.
I also love dark humour. It’s the best.

Tokyo Ghoul (Season One)

94312d3d-e428-4301-ba1a-45f0bf053b81_1I didn’t think I’d be saying this, but I’ve finally found an anime I didn’t like. I know, I’ll probably get a load of stick for saying that, but I really couldn’t find much good about Tokyo Ghoul season 1. I couldn’t even force myself to watch the 2nd season. Usually, if I didn’t like a film or series, I would just not review. Since I can’t find anything good to review, I’m biting the bullet and reviewing the least awful thing I’ve watched lately.

Tokyo Ghoul is about an orphan (Kaneki), who is nearly eaten by in a powerful ghoul (ghouls can only live by eating human flesh. They cannot digest normal food, so it makes them horribly ill. However, they can drink coffee). Before the ghoul can devour Kaneki, construction materials fall off a close by high-rise, that is under construction. This lands on top of Kaneki and the ghoul, crushing them both. The ghoul is killed, but Kaneki, is left critically injured. To save Kaneki life, a doctor decides to transplants the ghoul’s organs into Kaneki. In some weird twist of faith, this transforms Kaneki into something half-way between a ghoul and a human. Kaneki must then adjust to life as a ghoul and learn to accept that, he now needs to eat human flesh to survive. He must also avoid being discovered, by the doves (Ghoul exterminators) as they want to rid the world of ghouls.


The software I usually use to create images, for reviews is malfunctioning. I had to go old school and create them on paper. It was a hell of a lot harder, to create the same effect.   

The biggest issue, with Tokyo Ghoul was delivery. It just didn’t meet its hype and it didn’t deliver in the storyline. It seemed to always be lacking something and didn’t have much direction at times. Basically, things happened that didn’t go anywhere, fixed themselves or just weren’t as exciting, as you would expect. It was very underwhelming. Also, things where made out to be a huge deal one episode and next episode no one cared.

For a show about flesh eating monsters, it wasn’t as gory or bloody, as you would expect. They left me waiting to the last episode of season one, to see some actual gore. This was really disappointing. The rest of the season, had as much blood and gore as the typical anime (the typical anime I watch anyway). For a lover of blood and gore, it was very unsatisfying.

For most of the series, the characters sat around drinking coffee and feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, they had a good reason for being depressed, but this wasn’t very entertaining. They could have at least, got mad at the world and went on a rampage. I wanted to see the world burn, at the hands of an angry ghoul, but all I got was, coffee with mopey ghouls. In-between these coffee breaks, things did happen like kidnappings and doves butchering ghouls. These were exciting, but the excitement was quickly killed, by more coffee drinking and moping.

20170620_174507Not to be completely negative about Tokyo ghoul, there was a few good things about this series. The characters were pretty good. They were very likeable and entertaining. Most had their own little personality quirk, that made it easy to connect with them and to understand their mindset. The male characters were also very kind to the eyes (mainly Renji and weirdly Uta), which is always a plus.

The best thing about this anime was the kagune. They look awesome and are really interesting. The animators really done a good job. The kagune were so pretty and unique to each ghoul. It’s quite amazing. So much work must have gone into designing them. They are incredible.


Double kagune, angel wings and scythes. I want this as a kagune, if I become a ghoul.

Although I don’t like this anime, I can see why other people like it. It has good action scenes, pretty colours and interesting characters. It also has that whole, “let’s not hate the world, but hate the people in it” thing going for it. Some people may like that idea, but I do not. It throws everyone in the one pot and that’s unfair. Not everyone is rotten, only a small group is. Unfortunately, these people are usually very loud and love showing off. So, we only notice them and forget about the good.

Overall, Tokyo Ghoul was not to my taste. I felt it was missing something and was underwhelming. If I was to describe Tokyo Ghoul (season 1), in as little word as possible, I would describe it as, Coffee with mopey ghouls, interrupted by doves slaying ghouls and ghoul fights.
Rating: 2.5/5

Mademoiselle Noir, a Victim of Prejudice.

ec1d89a6-bcc2-42b1-991a-0fe123c1dcb0Mademoiselle Noir (Miss Black), her only crimes were living in a tower, having long black Rapunzel hair and repeating the same French phrases over and over again. Mistaking her for a demon and burning her to death, was a huge over reaction on those towns people’s behalf. They could have at least, ran tests to prove or disprove, her demon status, before they set her hair on fire. Prime example of why holding prejudice, is both idiotic and also dangerous.

Short post today, because it’s Father’s Day and I need to spend time with my Papa. Today’s post is digital art work inspired by a song/animation, I came across on YouTube, called Mademoiselle Noir: A Tragedy. It’s a very sad song, but has an important message about prejudice and judging people based on their appearance. Hence, why I thought it was worth a mention.


Pencil drawing, I done for Orly. She said Mademoiselle Noir tower was too creepy, so made me draw her a Princess Tower.  


Getting so old

50486044-7085-416c-b7fc-3e836ad03ae3.pngIn a few days, I’ll be another year older and I’ve realised, I’m getting so old. I didn’t think I’d survive this long (for justified reasons) and I’m not sure, how much longer I’ll continue to survive. No one is sure of that. For that reason, I’ve created my Bucket list.

If you don’t know what a Bucket list is, it’s a list of things you want to do before you die. This can include crazy, dangerous and wild things like skydiving, fun and exciting things like a dream holiday or sweet and caring things like taking your grandmother on a picnic. Some people put their personal goals on their bucket list, but I’ll not be doing that.

Without farther delay I give you, My Bucket List:2d948cd1-0cfa-49db-a1fb-a25e73064677

  • See the northern lights. They are meant to be amazingly beautiful and I’ve always wanted to see them.
  • Spend the night in an igloo.
  • Travel by dog sled (Could probably do these first 3 at once)
  • Build a snowman, in the Arctic.
  • Hug a Panda bear (better leave this one to the end, in case it mauls me). A baby Panda bear will also do.
  • Look for dinosaur bones. I love dinosaurs and have always wanted to go on an expedition, searching for dinosaur bones.
  • See a wolf in the wild.
  • Hear an actual wolf howl.
  • Visit a haunted house and spend the night.
  • Go white water rafting.
  • Spend 24hours in a tree house, without touching the ground. By this I mean, a tree house built for people to live in, not a child’s tree house.10c71218-db45-4c38-a61c-feb3e79a18b4
  • Give an elephant a bath. I’ve always wanted to do this. It looks really fun and the elephant seem to enjoy it too.
  • Pet an elephant.
  • Be a zookeeper for a day. This might be a tough one to achieve. I’ll have to convince a zoo manager, to let me help out for a day. Hopefully free labour will be enough.
  • Drive a tank.
  • Learn useful survival skills.
  • To live in the wild for a while. I’m curious to know if it’s better, then living as a captive (a figurative captive). I have a gut feeling that it will. I also want to be a free-range human.
  • Eat a crocodile. It probably won’t taste good, but I like the irony of it. Eating, what should eat you.
  • Spend the day at a shooting range, with a pump action shotgun and sniper rifle. I’ve never shot a gun before and I want to know what the big deal is.
  • See a blue whale. I’m really curious, to see how big it is.


fdc2d917-8d47-4702-ad4c-6d66352a04b4Where can I watch this: Netflix (Netflix original)

If I was to describe Blame! in as little words as possible, I would describe it as, future anime I, robot. The similarities between these two movies is remarkable. Even one type of evil robot in Blame!, looks near identical to the robots in I, Robot, expect for the way they move. These robots move more like spiders than humans and have a red light instead of blue.

Both stories start very similar too, with robots no longer obeying humans, going rogue and taking over a city. The only thing that was missing was an anime Will Smith. Instead, Blame! had a more silent hero, called Killy (Kirī).

After the beginning, the two storylines start to differ, but the overall motivation for the main characters remain the same. This aim being, to destroy the robots and regain control of the city. In Blame!, they even find a nice non-evil robot to help them, fight the evil robots.

However, Blame! was a manga, long before the film I, Robot, so I can’t be too hard on Blame! for being similar. I’ve never read this manga (because you can’t properly get manga here), so can’t tell you how similar I, Robot is to Blame!, the manga.

I’m still not sure, whether I like the animation style of Blame!. It has a very video game look and occasionally the characters move very much like a video game character. Making their movements kind of choppy and not very smooth. It’s definitely not the animation style I’m use too. One positive, about this style, is that it looks very realistic at times, which is amazing.

thumbnail_20170609_161121Despite the unusual animation style, Blame!’s story is exciting and enjoyable. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic city, where robots are hell-bent on killing all humans without the NET terminal gene. Regarding them as illegal residents of the city, that must be exterminated. Initially, all humans in the city, had the NET terminal gene and the robots obeyed the humans, building and protecting the city. Then after some type of contamination (we are not told what type) of the city, the humans lose the NET terminal gene and the robots turn on the humans and kill most of the population. A group of survivors are forced to live in isolation, in a safe zone, protected from robot invasions. Never knowing, if there are any other humans surviving in the city.

The survivors must venture out of the safe zone, in search of food. It is on one of these ventures, that they run into another survivor, Killy, after he saves them from a robot attack. Curious of this stranger, they take him back to their village, in the safe zone, to see the elders. It is there, Killy reveals to the elders, that he is searching for a human with the NET terminal gene. He believes if he finds a human with the NET terminal gene, the robots will obey them. Hence, take control of the city back and end this apocalyptic nightmare. Unfortunately, no one in the village has this gene, so Killy must go in search for more survivors. In the hope of finding food and other survivors, the elders decide to help Killy, in his search.

Overall, Blame! is pretty good. If you can get past the unusual animation style, it’s quite an enjoyable film. It has a lot of action and an interesting storyline. Most of the time, you are left in suspense, wondering if the survivors will escape the robot attacks, unharmed and if they should trust Killy or the robot scientist.

There was also quite a lot of arm losing. All I can say is that, I hope I could be that calm, if I ever lost an arm (people lost arms and were surprisingly relaxed about it. They didn’t even seem the slightest bit bothered). The only thing I could find wrong with Blame!, is their use of light and colour in battle scenes. Netflix really should have put a light/brightness warning on this film. The brightness of Killy’s and the safeguard’s gun, really stung my eyes and had them watering like hell.

To conclude, Blame! is one of the better Netflix original anime films. It isn’t that long, so is definitely worth a watch. By the way the film ended, I get a feeling that, they may make a sequel. I’m not sure if non-anime fans would like Blame!. I think the unusual animation style might be too much for them. They might not be able to get past that, to appreciate the action or storyline. However, if you are an anime fan and like robot apocalypse films, then Blame! is the film for you.
Rating: 3.5/5

How can anyone be this cute!

thumbnail_20170605_111311Not bad for a first attempted at pencil drawing, a baby.
This isn’t my usual type of post, because my lungs have betrayed me again, so I’m not feeling great. Chronic asthma and low oxygen levels, is draining the life out of me (let’s hope I don’t develop a chest infection or pneumonia).
Hoping to get back to my usual posts soon. After I regain the energy to create them and can breathe normally again.

thumbnail_20170605_112118If anyone is wondering who the baby is, it’s my god-daughter.

Zombie 101

e94272cc-b7a3-426d-abd7-45a767129f2fHaving watched zombie movies back to back all weekend, as part of zombie week. I’ve noticed something all zombie movies have it common (other than zombies). The characters in these movies, all are completely rubbish at surviving. Yes, I know some are hard-core zombie slayers. But when it comes to basic survival common sense, it seems to be lost on them.

If these characters were real, I doubt they would survive a weekend camping, let alone a zombie apocalypse. With the stuff they pull and the horrible decision they make, like taking on a whole herd of zombies single-handed. They should be zombie food at the beginning of the movie. But then we wouldn’t have a movie.

So, with that in mind, I created a list on how to survive a zombie apocalypse and not get eaten. (This is not a serious list and is just my opinion. Therefore, if you need survival advice, seek the advice of a professional survivalist)

1. Stay up high. You can’t get eaten, if those zombies can’t reach you. I don’t know how many zombie films I’ve watched, were night falls and they set up camp. Then just sleep on the ground. How stupid can you get? Yeah, pretty sure you would get eaten if you did that.
Sleeping high up in a tree or on a flat roof top, is a much better idea, if you don’t want to be eaten. All you need is a bit of rope ensure you can’t fall to your death. If your planning to stay long-term, you can always build a tree house for shelter or build a camp on a flat roof. The roof top would also give you room to grow food (if you can get grow-bags up there), well out of reach of zombies. Plus, you never have to worry about herds, you can wait them out, on the roof tops.


The walking dead cup (my favourite cup)

2. Wear clothing zombies can’t bite through, like motorbike gear and leather. Zombies can’t eat you, if their teeth can’t bite through your clothing. This also prevents being bitten by those sneaky zombies, that hide down low.

3. Don’t break open locked doors. They are locked for a reason. That reason most likely being, a huge, hungry zombie locked inside. Open that door and you’re zombie food. In zombie movies, there’s always that one idiot that insists on opening that suspicious locked door and gets everyone eaten.

4. Watch your feet and stay alert. Some many deaths happen because no one looks were they are standing and watches out for hidden zombies. It’s just a shame, no one sees that zombie, causally sitting there on the ground, waiting for its next meal to walk past. It’s so obvious, but they’re too busy looking at that zombie in the distance, to notice one sitting right at their feet.

bcab1a8a-28a4-4478-8f97-d4c6b70d622f5. Keep a dog or 2 around. Not only would they keep spirits up, but they can smell dead things from miles away. Train a dog to signal when a zombie is near and you have your own zombie sniffer dog. What better way to avoid zombies and not get eaten. Dogs can also be used to hunt, for warmth, to find food and for protection from thugs.

6. Don’t rely on canned foods. Everyone will be fighting each other for canned food, so it could get dangerous. Canned food will also eventually run out, so growing food would make you a target, for other survivors. Storing food will also make you a huge target and could get you killed. A much better option is hunting and gathering. If you’re not such what’s eatable, get a book on foraging from a library or book store (probably the least likely place to run into zombies).

7. Stay away from that sick or injured person. This sounds like a no brainer, but in zombie films, they always stupidly go help, without taking any precautions. A short while later the person turns and tries to eat everyone. They could have at least tied the person up, for peace sake. It’s as if they want to be eaten.


Coconut Head. Left alone in a car, with a notebook and a pen. Doodling bound to happen. Don’t like drawing in pen, though. You can’t erase and you’re stuck with whatever you draw.        

8. Don’t trust that random guy, that turns up from nowhere, promising shelter and safety. Seems like common sense, but no. In the films, they all follow that nice stranger to his camp, where they are attacked, robbed or imprisoned. So, if a stranger offers to take you to their camp, ran for your life, in the opposite direction, as fast as you can.

9. Avoid large groups. Large groups only attract herds of zombies. Plus, it’s much harder to find enough food to feed a large group, so you’ll most likely go hungry. A small group of 3 or 4, is much better. There’s enough eyes, to watch out for zombie and enough hands to fend them off. It is also much easier to find enough food for 3 or 4 people.

10. If trapped by zombies, with no way out, play zombie. Sounds silly, but always works in the movies and I can see why. They are zombies, not geniuses. If you look, smell and act like a zombie, they won’t be able to tell the difference. So, if you find yourself trapped, quickly smother yourself in zombie juice, pull your best zombie pose and limp the hell out of there.

He calls himself friend, so why be so cruel.


Lady Joker. How that A-hole made me feel.  

He begged me to show him, even though I told him I didn’t want to. He wouldn’t leave me at peace, until I did. I knew he would take them for face value and make no effort to understand. I was right. He took a 2 second look at each and made his judgement.

When I told him no, he acted like a child. Using emotional blackmail to get his way. Saying that, I was being unfair and acting like I don’t trust him. He said, I don’t let others in because I’m scared.

Honestly, I knew he was being manipulative and what he said was complete rubbish. He really doesn’t know me that well, if he thinks he can manipulate me in just a childish way. He could have made more of an effort. Recognised my true insecurities and blackmailed me with those, instead of conventional insecurities, I don’t even have.

bb6e4431-4ad2-46e4-855b-e8a918070d06He was starting to get on my last nerve and I was tired. I just wanted him to go away and leave me be. I thought if I showed him a few of my digital drawings, he would be satisfied and stop tormenting me. I was wrong. His hurtful remarks, were just redirected to having personal stabs at me.

7bddfe60-ce21-4021-8df1-36babfc471d8I had warned him, that I use drawing as an emotional outlet. So, what did he expect. They represent “negative” feelings, so aren’t going to be rainbows and ponies. There was no need to resort to name calling, saying I was dark, disturbed and a creep. That I was sick and needed help. The only thing I need help with is distancing myself from people like him.

My drawings aren’t even that dark. They are mostly just people, standing there doing nothing. How does that make me disturbed? Yeah, the people aren’t exactly happy and some are being haunted, but that’s just life. They aren’t doing anything horribly evil, so why judge me as “troubled”, based on a few drawings.



If I had drawn something filled with blood and gore, then yes, I could see where he was coming from. But I didn’t. I drew how I felt at that time. If he doesn’t like how I feel, I’d prefer he left me alone and keep his negativity to himself. If I am sick (like he said), then telling me in just a rude and taunting way, surely would only add to the matter and is not how you help an ill person. People like him will be the death of me.


Another Self-Portrait

If he had paid attention and didn’t just glance. If he tried to understand. Then he would see that I’m not disturbed or evil. Maybe he’s just not perceptive. Still, he didn’t need to be so mean. If he had said my drawing were rubbish and that I couldn’t draw for dung, then I wouldn’t have been hurt. After all, I wasn’t drawing for approval. I was drawing for me. They didn’t have to be master pieces. Their purpose was to stop me bottling my emotional and to prevent my mind from cracking. If anything, I’d call my drawings healthy. They are not mentally unwell.

1364b438-e244-4371-88f4-3ddd328cbf3fHis words hurt, but screw him. We all have struggles. If I want to let these feelings out, in a health and safe manner by drawing, then I’m going to. Bottling my feelings has only caused me more pain. If he doesn’t like what I drew, then he shouldn’t have annoyed me until I showed him.

Sorry for ranting a bit. This guy, that calls himself my friend, just really irritated me. It might sound like he was just concerned about me, but he is not. I think he gets off on making people feel awful and thought I’d make the perfect victim.


Black Butler reference. Love this drawing, so it ended up being my Header image. I drew it in a mood. Probably the only good thing to come out of being in a horribly mood.