The Dreaded Lurgy Attacks

ciel 1Just a quick wee post to explain why there was no post from me this week. Unfortunately, the dreaded lurgy got me and now I’m rather ill with some type of flu-like sickness. I get sick kind of often, so would usually soldier on and create some type of little post for that week. But this week soldiering on really isn’t an option, feeling like a mangled zombie has greatly impaired my writing ability.

Reading blog posts makes me happy and helps me forget before feeling like the Grim reaper is stalking me. So, you’ll still see me around reading posts, however I’m not sure when I’ll be well enough to post properly. But, so this blog doesn’t go dead, I might make a post of the little doodles I did this week.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well and thanks for your patience.

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Hmmm… maybe demon butlers have a soft side.

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The Wailing

00ba897d-bbf6-4493-be80-b0b3a78f181cThis week something terribly unfortunate happened. I was in the middle of creating some digital art for this post, when suddenly the app crashed and stopped working. After a few panic-stricken minutes, I finally got the app to open again to be met by the horror that the app had wiped itself clean and deleted everything, including the piece I was working on (literally could have cried). Over 200 digital drawings gone and all the brush settings reset. The only thing to remember them by is thumbnails saved on my computer and the saddest thing is there where pieces I hadn’t completed yet. They’re just thumbnails now that can never be finished or opened on the app as a digital drawing again. They will forever be incomplete. So, what has this got to do with this review? Well, it mostly affects the art work for the review, because now all the brushes have reset back to their default settings, which makes them kind of awkward to use. I will eventually get the brush settings back to the way I like them, but that’s going to involve a lot of trial and error. In the meantime, I hope you still enjoy my more resourceful approach to digital art.

Getting back to the film, The Wailing is a South Korean horror movie about a police officer (Jong-goo) who is investigating a series of strange violent attacks and murders, that all involve the offender falling ill with a mysterious sickness before committing the crime. Soon into the investigation Jong-goo hears rumours of witchcraft and a terrifying naked man attacking people in the woods and eating raw flesh. Things rapidly go downhill for Jong-goo when his young daughter contracts the mysterious illness and doctors tell him they can do nothing. This leads to Jong-goo enlisting the help of a shaman and things take a bit of a demonic turn. Will the shaman be able to cure Jong-goo’s daughter or will it all end in tragedy?

The Wailing completely took me by surprise, I really wasn’t expecting it to be as good as it was. I went into this movie expecting it to be just another demon horror movie. The sort of film where a demon shows up and torments a family then possesses someone. Everyone freaks out and they call for the Padre or a paranormal fighting duo to come exercise the demon. You know, the type that are filled with jump scares and clichés and sends your heart racing. Luckily, The Wailing has a little more to it than that and is not your run of the mill demon themed horror movie.

You may be thinking now, what does this film have that all other demon movies don’t have? The answer to that question is suspense, breath-taking scenery and a rather unique storyline with one hell of a plot twist. The Wailing is a bit of a slow starter, but when it gets going glob does it suck you in. Between wanting to see if Jong-goo solves the mystery and finds the true cause of the sickness and sitting in suspense, waiting to find out if the daughter survives, this film gets you totally invested in the plot. The amazing scenes of greenery and countryside on top of that, just really holds your attention, keeping you glued to the screen.

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 My face after losing all those drawings. It also aged about 20 years in that moment.  

The brilliant twist and mind screw at the end, truly puts the cherry on the cake. I for one certainly didn’t see it coming and while viewing the last part of the film, I was in a state of confusion, wonder and awe watching the tale spin and mystery unravel. At one point, I was completely baffled over who was actually the evil one and really couldn’t tell. Both possibilities seemed equally as untrustworthy and both were creepy as fudge, with a presence that screamed evil.

Which takes me to my next point, like all good horror films The Wailing was incredibly creepy and really leaves a lasting impression on you. Meaning it could quite possibly keep you up at night, checking and rechecking that all the windows and doors of locked and secured. There’s just something about a naked demonic feral person, running around, eating raw deer and attacking people, that’s pretty terrifying. Not to mention, the horror of being attacked by a possessed extremely violent 9-year-old (you can’t punch a child, so not sure how you’d defend yourself against that one). Making this film pretty scary to watch at times.

The Wailing isn’t without its flaws, the biggest flaw being the excessive use of foul language (in the subbed version at least). This may seem like an overreaction to a bit of swearing, but it really isn’t the case. Truth be told I usually wouldn’t care about swearing or even notice there was swearing. However, this film goes a little too far with the strong language, like even the kid was swearing obscenely. It seemed as if they couldn’t even make it through a sentence without swearing, which really killed the atmosphere of certain scenes. Maybe in the subbed version someone got a little carried away when creating the subtitles and the actual version it isn’t as bad. But glob that amount of swearing really wasn’t necessary.

There are also a few strange bible references throughout this film, which may put off some viewers. But considering the ending of this film, those references are more like well hidden clues to how the film was going to end and who was actually the evil one. So, you can’t really cringe too hard at them. However, you could probably cringe rather hard at the acting from some of the minor characters. Their overacting is quite comical at times, but mostly it’ll have you holding your head in your hand and shaking your head in distaste. In saying that, the acting of those in the main roles more than makes up for this.

Overall, The Wailing is quite a good horror movie. It does have its shortcomings, but in whole it’s an interesting and very exciting watch. With its plot twists and interesting concept of how demonic possession works, The Wailing will really grab your attention. If you fancy a change from your typical demon horror movie like The Conjuring or The Exorcist and don’t mind reading subtitles, I would recommend giving this film a try. It quite the creepy watch and will please the lovers of horror.

Rating: 3.5/5

Neo Yokio

thumbnail_ab2f874e-52a0-4984-b142-7373af2fc5d8It’s been a while since the last review (over 3 weeks to be precise). Don’t worry, I haven’t given up on them. I just hit a review slump and the last handful of shows and movies on my 2017 list, have just been glob awful. Unfortunately, I can’t put of reviewing any longer, so I’ve decided to pick my poison and review the last terrible thing left on the 2017 list.

I’m just going to come out and say it. Neo Yokio is nowhere near good, by any stretch of the imagination, but let’s not concentrate on that (trying to avoid another rant review, after all). However, as much as this kills me to say, I didn’t completely hate this short 6-episode long anime. But before we get into that, I think a little description of this series is needed.

Neo Yokio, the rich kids’ playground and home to young magistocrat Kaz Kaan. As a magistocrat, Kaz must defend Neo Yokio from the demons that once plagued it. However, he’s not really into his role as a magistocrat and would much rather swan around like the other rich kids and secure his spot on the bachelor board. This is until, a famous fashion blogger becomes possessed by a demon and Neo Yokio is thrown into chaos. Kaz must now protect Neo Yokio from this demonic influence.

That storyline sounds exciting, but it’s honestly very disappointing and anticlimactic. In my opinion, what sours this series, is that it pushes Kaz’s poshness (bourgeois) and foolishness too much and doesn’t deliver the actual story, very well. Neo Yokio, is more about Kaz living in luxury and complaining about it, then Kaz slaying demons. Leaving this series to lack any good action scenes.

thumbnail_3fb8ef7c-d9d4-4036-a82a-d81a4a7d4a8fI’m starting to rant, so let’s get into why I didn’t completely hate this series. The biggest reason I didn’t completely hate Neo Yokio was that, it weirdly makes for good easy watching. If you don’t take it too serious and view it as just something silly to watch to kill a bit of time. It’s not all that bad and is actually somewhat enjoyable to watch. Especially, when you’ve over stretched and tired your brain.

Stranger still, at times this series reminded me a lot of Archer. Maybe it was the similarities between Kaz’s aunt and Archer’s mother or the same type of silliness, displayed by both Kaz and Archer. That his made me feel like that, but luckily Neo Yokio is a lot milder than Archer. So, no need to worry about being traumatised by this series. There nothing really that shocking in Neo Yokio.

Right back on track, another reason Neo Yokio isn’t a complete loss, is the hidden humour. Neo Yokio, sort of takes little subtle digs at the super-rich. From making fun of the snobby mindsets, to comically depicting Kaz’s obsession with self-image. It could be rather entertaining at times, however this humour may not be to everyone’s taste and isn’t enough, for me to recommend watching it.

Overall, Neo Yokio isn’t great, but makes for a nice zombie watch, after a hard day thinking and exercising those brain cells. It also has a nice little bit of humour, to keep things entertaining. However, it’s very silly and the delivery is awful.  Not what you’d expect from a show about a demon slayer, with his own mini Optimus Prime. So, for that reason, I would not recommend watching Neo Yokio (even if Kaz has cute pink hair).

Rating: A very generous 2/5

Surviving a Horror Movie (Demon/Evil Spirits)

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Why not to trust your demon butler. He’ll creep on you, while you sleep. 

It’s rather obvious, that horror is my favourite genre. If it’s spooky and dark, I’m all over it. Since I had so much fun creating the zombie 101 post, for surviving a zombie apocalypse. I thought it be fun to create something similar, for surviving a demon/evil spirit horror movie.

I have a bit of a fascination with demons and evil spirit films. I’ve watched more than I care to admit. It’s one of the very few types of horror, that actually scares me. Which has led to me, doing some demon research (I know more on the subject of demons, then I ought too). But don’t worry, I’m not one of those chicken bones and drawing on the ground with chalk people (That stuff is too scary for me). I just like having a plan of action, in case I’m ever locked in a haunted house, filled with blood lusting ghost or demons.

Since I can’t use my demon knowledge, to tell you guys how to obtain a demon butler, I’ll share a few tips for surviving a demon horror movie. But first I’ll set the scene.

How to survive the demon house:

You’ve just been kicked out of your home, by the homeowner association, for not having green enough grass. You’re desperately searching for another place to live, when you come across an old suspiciously cheap mansion. Having no real choice (because you’ve been black listed by every homeowner community for miles, for abusing your grass), you jump on the opportunity without asking questions or doing any research.

Feeling chuffed for, getting a just a great deal, you move in. But on your first night in the house, things start happening. Scary unexplainable things, like the walls start bleeding, a creep doll keeps leaving you notes, wrote in red crayon and there’s a strange creature in your basement. At this point, you realise you’ve been taken for a fool and are in extreme danger. You’re now in dire need of some tips, for surviving your time in the demon house.

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The creepiest building, I could find. An abandoned women’s prison. I would not like to spend a night in there. Unfortunately, it’s in the middle of a city and on the junction of death. So, the only safe way of getting photos, is while driving past at quiet hours. Otherwise, I would have been ran over a few dozen times.  

1. Leave house and never look back- Seems like a no brainer, but no one in a horror movie ever comes up with this idea. They always have some ridiculous excuse, for why they can’t leave the house. I would highly recommend, this be your first call of action and second to be, destroy the house. But to keep this list going let’s just say, you also have a ridiculous excuse, like it’s raining and cold outside.

2. Don’t go crazy and throw holy water around the place or start to burning sage- This never ends well. It just makes the demon madder and hell-bent on destroying you. If you think about it logically, you can see why. In the demon’s mind, the house is their space. If someone comes into your space, throwing water and stinking the place out. You’re going to get mad and do everything you can, to make that person leave. The same goes with religious items. These are probably offensive to the demon and will make it furious. Essentially, don’t do anything to annoy the demon. It won’t end well.

3. Trap it in a coconut- This one sounds a bit weird, but in some cultures, it’s believed that you can trap spirits and demons inside coconuts. All you have to do is trick the demon and get it to go inside the coconut. Once in there, it can’t get out again, so problem solved. There’s a lot of variations in, what to do with the coconut afterwards. But you can worry about that, after the demon is in the coconut.

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This is why I very rarely use colour. I tend to go a bit mad and create something like this.  

4. If you hear a loud bang, definitely do not go check it out. Just run in the opposite direction- The curious person always goes first in horror movies. Curiosity really does kill the cat, when it comes to horror movies. If you’re in a possessed house and hear a bang, its most likely a demon having, one hell of a hissy fit. Best just to tuck your tail between your legs and run in the other direction. You don’t want to get caught up in a demonic tantrum.

5. Ring of salt- You’ve survived this long, but sadly you ignored tip 2 and did something to angry the demon. The demon manifests and charges straight for you. You look for a way to escape, but the demon has you cornered. Suddenly you remember, you have a large shaker of salt in your pocket (You were cruelly melting slug earlier and forgot to return the shaker to the kitchen). You quickly grab the shaker and form a circle of salt around you. The salt stops the demon in its tracks. It furiously waves its claws at you, but is unable to reach you. Laughing, you use the shaker again and form a ring around the demon. As long as the ring of salt isn’t broken, the demon is trapped inside. Just keep the ring of salt topped up and your safe from the demon’s grasp.

6. Do not talk to the demon- The quickest way to get possessed in a horror movie, is to talk to the demon. So, don’t get angry and start shouting stuff at the demon. Definitely don’t try bargaining with it either. For some reason, communication makes demons stronger and enables their possession abilities.

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Close up of the prison. I wasn’t driving, that would be dangerous. Cars are right-hand drive here, so this probably looks really bizarre to some people.   

 7. Find some demon fighting weapons- If you’ve studied your myths and legends hard enough, you’ll know that there’s a couple of weapons, you can use to defeat a demon. These include a sword, a spears and shields. However, being of myths and legends these items will be near impossible to find. But don’t worry, there is something else you can use from Irish mythology. According to Irish mythology, iron burns fairies, evil spirits and demons. So, all you need to do is hit that demon, with an iron bar or pot, until it runs in terror or no longer exist.

8. Scary the kittens out of that demon, with a warrior mask- I’m not 100% sure, what these masks are called, but they’re found all over the world (like in China, Africa and among Pagan and Celtic artefacts). However, the idea of these masks is always the same. You wear the mask or leave it, somewhere for the demon to find. The demon sees the mask and is so horrified, it goes back to, wherever the hell it came from.

9. Find Professor Snape – You’ve tried everything and there’s still a demon in your life, hell-bent on destroying everything that is you. To be honest it doesn’t get much worse, than having a demon after your soul. So, you might as well start looking into the dark arts or more specifically defence against the dark arts. You might as well, find yourself a magic man or a witch and see if they can destroy the demon. At worse, you get to see a really cool magical demonic fight, before your completely consumed by a demon.

10. Call ghostbusters- If all else fails, you’re in the world of film. Call ghostbusters, they’ll sort that demon out. See if they’re true to their word. See if they really are afraid of no ghost, even the murderous demonic ones.