One liners

I love reading one liner challenge posts, they can really be hilarious at times. So, after being nominated for this challenge (quite a while ago), I thought it was time to give it a try myself. But before we get started, I’d like to thank POP CULTURE LITERARY for the nomination and apologise for taking so long to respond to this challenge. There’s a lot of cool and interesting stuff over at POP CULTURE LITERARY, so I’d recommend checking it out.

The Rules:

  • Accept and thank your challenger(s) by linking back to their post.
  • Make a post of one-sentence summaries and/or roasts of at least five books.
  • No spoilers! (I will try but no promises)
  • Link back to The Awkward Book Bloggerso she can see your post.
  • Challenge as many or as few people as you want!
  • Have fun!

Right so let’s begin! I read mostly non-fiction books which wouldn’t really work in this post, so I’ve also added five anime to the mix.

Books:

81UvcPHNEPLBlue Planet II– The Book that proves sea monsters really do exist.

alice1898Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland- An adventure where a girl falls down a hole, eats shrooms, drinks potions, ignores the rules of stranger danger and manages to really peeve off some psycho lady by painting her roses, basically some peoples’ Saturday night.

51M0okPhZoLBram Stoker Dracula You can’t help but read it in Dracula’s voice, bleh bleh bleh.

81AlqaFjyaLThe Twits- The book that taught me to seek revenge when I was a child, even if it involves using a swimming pools worth of glue and inducing the shrinks.

91j7w+EJXvLThe Miniaturist- A valuable lesson in not being creepy by making miniature dolls of random rich strangers and their home furnishings, because they’ll freak out, think you’re a witch, blame you for everything that goes wrong in their life and people will be thrown in the canal wearing a boulder necklace.

387145._SX1280_QL80_TTD_The Walking Dead Comic- Man awakens from a coma to find himself in a zombie apocalypse and decides to become a zombie slaying cowboy (Sort of like the TV show but better).

Anime:

1200x630bbDeath Note- A narcissistic psychopathic emo guy finds a note book that literally makes the pen mightier than the sword, which leads to him having a strange relationship with another very odd emo guy and they play cat and mouse then explore bondage.

1200x630bb (1)Black Butler-For the low, low price of one’s soul, you can have an extremely attractive demon ninja slave that will pretty much do anything for/to you (and I mean “anything”).

01e7eb6f5277ed21e158087e5422042cb10c227cr1-561-797v2_hqTokyo Ghoul- Boy gets turned into a half ghoul then sits around drinking coffee with other ghouls, being a hate-the-world and yaps about his life then decides to give cannibalism a go.

173941Durarara- An anime with a headless cat lady biker and where gang violence, knife crime and mob mentality are rampant, but for some reason no one has offed the snitch.

Lucy-Elfen-Lied-horror-anime-manga-37156938-500-375Elfen Lied- Where clothing and limbs are optional but bathing is a compulsory group activity.

Nominations:
At this point, I think nearly everyone has either already done this challenge or been nominated for it. Therefore, I nominate anyone who hasn’t already been nominated yet.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post, I had a lot of fun making it and…

As always, Thanks for reading!

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The Dreaded Lurgy Attacks

ciel 1Just a quick wee post to explain why there was no post from me this week. Unfortunately, the dreaded lurgy got me and now I’m rather ill with some type of flu-like sickness. I get sick kind of often, so would usually soldier on and create some type of little post for that week. But this week soldiering on really isn’t an option, feeling like a mangled zombie has greatly impaired my writing ability.

Reading blog posts makes me happy and helps me forget before feeling like the Grim reaper is stalking me. So, you’ll still see me around reading posts, however I’m not sure when I’ll be well enough to post properly. But, so this blog doesn’t go dead, I might make a post of the little doodles I did this week.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well and thanks for your patience.

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Hmmm… maybe demon butlers have a soft side.

A Sense of Humour Always Helps

thumbnail_20171115_155713I don’t really like posting drawings without some type written interaction. It seems a bit cold and distant. So, I’ll write something to explain, what on earth I’ve drawn.

Basically, I was having one of those days, where everyone kept asking me, if I was feeling okay because I looked like death rolled over (I wasn’t hung over, I just looked like sh**. I don’t even drink). Since sitting with a paper bag on my head would be creepy. I thought I’d cheer up, by drawing myself as ridiculously ugly cartoon characters.

thumbnail_20171115_155713 (2)Yeah, this is pretty much how I feel every morning before have food and coffee. I’m really not a morning person.

thumbnail_20171115_155713 (3)This is probably the ugliest style I’ve ever seen, but Glob I love its ugliness. I had to try it for myself.

thumbnail_20171115_155713 (4)I couldn’t really do much drawing semi-realistic, so I just gave myself a fat face and messed around with my colour palette. Also, that’s not a teardrop tattoo. It’s just a white patch, that shows up when I get flustered.

thumbnail_20171115_155713 (5)I pretty much thought of the ugliest way possible to draw anime and did that. If it’s not too big-headed, I’d like to said that I nailed it. It doesn’t even have a nose.

Hope you found these drawing as amusing as I did. They certainly cheered me up anyway. I may look like a corpse, but at least I’m a smiling corpse now. Hope they made you smile too.

World War Z

thumbnail_53651c8f-5636-4f24-b2f5-396cee4908baNo Halloween venture into the darkness, would be complete without a Zombie or two. In World War Z case, super-fast loud zombies, that can really utilise the power of the zombie pyramid. Pretty terrifying if you ask me. Roof tops aren’t even save from these guys. There’s really no escape from these horrifying creatures. Which makes this film, perfect for a Halloween scare.

World War Z is a zombie apocalypse film, about a retired U.N. investigator called Gerry (although you are given the impression, he was more of a secret agent than investigator). While leaving his children to school with his wife, zombies start attacking the city. Causing mass panic and chaos in the early morning traffic.

Luckily, they escape the speedy zombies and the chaos, and eventually find themselves on a floating military base, with Gerry’s old U.N. buddies. Far from the reach of zombies. Unfortunately, to keep their place in this base, Gerry must come out of retirement and help in the mission to find a cure for the zombie virus. This leads to Gerry jetting around the world, in the search for a cure. While of course fighting and escaping from massive herds of zombies.

I’m a huge fan of zombie films, and World War Z truly didn’t fail to please. But to shake this review up a bit, I’m going to review it in terms of the 5 things I look for in a good zombie film.

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I think I may have gone too far with the cat soup kitties. I might need to balance this out with the cute creepy drawing of the kitties.  

Zombie Quality
Plain and simple, the zombie in World War Z are terrifying. Being faster than the average human, surviving over a hundred feet falls and being surprisingly acrobatic, I would place them in the super zombie category. They also make horrifying noises, that will make your blood run cold. I for one, would absolutely not want to come up against one of these zombies. My baby legs would stand no chance at outrunning one of these guys.
Visually, the zombies look just as terrifying. Although most are computerised, the few that aren’t look incredibly freaky. Kind of like angry walking corpses. Making zombie quality, really good in World War Z.

Story
The storyline is pretty straight forward. Zombies attack, man decides he’ll find cure for zombies, man goes find cure, while avoiding becoming zombie food. It’s pretty basic, but is delivered very well. It gets the balance of action and story just right and has a nice twist near the end. My only criticism is that some of the action scenes move a little too fast, for the eye to keep up with. Meaning these scenes can be slightly confusing and it can be hard to tell, which characters have been taken by zombies.
Also, if you have a fear of flying, I would recommend staying away from this movie. There’s a lot of airplane incidents, that will completely horrify you and feed your fear even more.

Zombie Deaths
Sadly, there is no really good or gory zombie death in this film. I think this film is more about the chase then the kill. Meaning, it’s focused more on people running away from the zombies, then fighting the zombies. Although, there are a few one on one zombie kills, there’s none that really stand out. Making this film pretty disappointing, in terms of zombie deaths.

thumbnail_b10903e2-5c9c-49fb-8df2-8ac93baa5a9aAccuracy
I’m very passionate about microbiology (it one of the few things I miss from my time studying Biomedical science). How scientifically accurate a zombie film is, can be a real deal breaker for me. I don’t expect the writers to be experts, but just to get the basics right and at least know, the difference between bacteria and virus or anything a quick google search could tell them.
Luckily, World War Z was surprisingly accurate and had no crazy scientifically inaccurate comments. Best of all, it showed a very good understanding of microbiology and that they actually did their research. It’s probably one of the more accurate zombie films I’ve seen, making it very nice film in my eyes.

Surprise and Originality
It’s pretty hard to be original when it comes to zombie films. Nearly everything been done before, so the littlest bit of originality goes a long way. World War Z is rather typical of a zombie film; however, I’ve never seen zombie pyramids before and I haven’t quite seen someone travel around the world, during a zombie apocalypse. Its twist was also fairly surprising and somewhat original. Therefore, I would say that, World War Z is original as zombie movies get and will definitely please in this area.

Overall, World War Z is a rather good film. Its action packed and full of excitement, but is still focused on telling an interesting story. It isn’t very gory, yet still manages to make its zombie absolutely terrifying. It’s definitely one of the better zombie films I’ve seen and for this reason, I would highly recommend giving it a watch.

Rating: 4/5

Confessions of a Quirky Film Lover.

thumbnail_6d43605c-e7ae-41e8-9af4-83c2f6f02509I’ve had this blog for a while now and I’ve never done a “get to know me post”. I’ve thought long and hard about this and have come to the conclusion: “Naaa, I’m a bit too odd for this crack” (crack, being slang for stuff, not the other sort of crack). “My complete space cadet-ness could leave everyone very bewildered. I’m going to need to think up, a less direct approach. If I’m to make a friendly and insightful post.” So, that’s exactly what I did.

The best way to “indirectly” get to know someone, is through what they love. An even better way, is through what they wouldn’t normally admit, about what they love. Since my anime confessions, could quite possibly start war world 3 (I’ve been on the forums, it’s very scary). I think it’s a lot safer for us all, if I make this confession about my love of film.

I’m not sure if this idea is genius or Glob awful. But either way, let’s begin my film confessions:

thumbnail_0d2d8f72-9c78-452c-98c7-2b9ee44ecd16I love watching horror in the dark. But sometimes I get a little too afraid and have to turn the lights back on and check all the hiding places, in the house for evil things/monsters. I wish this was a joke, but it’s not. It sounds so silly, but sometimes horrors really know how to scare the plop out of you. Add in the fact, I live in the middle of nowhere, in an old creaky house and one’s imagination can run away with itself.

I don’t think Rebel Wilson is funny. I cringe every time I’m forced to watch something she’s in.

I have an appreciation for all types of animation, not just anime.  

I love the works of Tim Burton. He’s actually my favourite Director.

I enjoy watching really sad but meaningful movies, usually ones based on true stories or human rights abuse. I’m not sure how to explain this. I think it’s the educational and true human nature aspects, that appeal most to me.

I’ve watched more old cowboy films, then I care to admit. I don’t actually enjoy them. I just like watching them with my father and he really enjoys these films. Which takes me to my next confession.

There’s a huge place in my heart for ould boy films (movies the older gentleman enjoys).

thumbnail_5f33385b-831a-4a9b-b7a8-b82d468a183cI love dinosaurs, but can’t stand Jurassic Park. My hatred of those films, cannot be described in words.

I really like musicals and yes, I sing along.

My evil superpower, is being able to pick holes in any plot, find editing and film errors and point out scientific inaccuracies. I can pretty much ruin any film on someone, no matter how much they love it. Luckily, I’m not an a-hole and I only use this power when cornered, by that one person that won’t quit and doesn’t take “I don’t like the film”, for an answer (we all know one).

I’m a huge fan of stop motion and puppets. I also love watching how stop motions are made. I’m fascinated by it.  

Every time I see something dead on the road, the song from Watership Down comes into my head. If it’s really sad, I might also end up singing it. 

I really like Will Ferrell, especially in Elf. I know he’s a bit silly and all his characters are essentially the same. But, you have to admit he puts a hell of a lot of effort and energy into playing the fool.

I laugh at the most inappropriate things in horror films. The list would be endless, but at the top of this list is, zombie deaths, demon attacks and people trying to fight ghosts.

The jump scare gets me every time and not just a little. I pretty much jump out of my skin, even if I see it coming.

thumbnail_c85bda52-98c5-476c-b23c-163aacbb7ec0I thoroughly enjoy watching bad or low-budget zombie movies.

The Muppet Christmas Carol, is my favourite Xmas movie. (I also really like the book of the original story)

Sometimes I just want to watch something weird. There’s times when I get extremely bored with film and the only thing I find stimulating, is weird and experimental film.   

Hope you enjoyed my film confessions and hopefully you don’t think I’m a complete Gobshite. If you’re brave enough, I’d love to hear your film confessions in the comments. 

Thanks for reading.

Stake Land

thumbnail_dbac8e0c-e41d-48d7-90de-0258798ff0c3The zombie thirst is back. A thirst that can only be quenched, by watching ridiculous amounts of zombie films and shows. So, why the hell did I end up watching stake land, when it’s a vampire movie?

Stake land, is one of those films that dance with the line between zombies and vampires. Their vampires, behave like zombies, look like zombie and feed like zombies, however obey 2 important vampire rules (these being, they have fangs and burst into flames in sunlight). Essentially, more zombie like, than vampire. So, I renamed these creatures, zompires.

Stake land is about a boy (Martin), who is orphaned after vampires (zompires) devour his family. Martin is saved from this fate, by a vampire hunter called Mister. Martin’s father uses his last breath, to ask Mister to save his son. Mister then takes, Martin under his wing and trains him as a vampire hunter.

In an attempt to escape, the growing numbers of zompires, Mister and Martin travel north. This turns out to be a very eventful journey, involving mutant zompires, cults and survival of the fittest.

For a vampire movie, this wasn’t bad. It’s one of the better vampire films, I’ve seen. Even as a zompire movie, it was okay. In saying that, it does have a lot of flaws. The biggest being, poorly edited scenes. Throughout the film there’s scenes, where characters magically appear and disappear and jump from one position to another. Making the movie look very choppy, at times and badly Frankensteined together. Having watched so many zombie films (both high and low budget), I can forgive this and in whole, it doesn’t destroy your enjoyment of the film.

It also had a lot of subplots, that went nowhere. For example, Martin was warned about survivor in the north, resorting to cannibalism and no cannibals materialised and there was no more mention of these cannibals. Being cannibalised, is the scariest thing I can think of, so this was very disappointing. It got my hopes up, that I’d be scared by cannibals and there was none. There was a lot of other nowhere-subplots like this, that just left you disappointed or confused about the direction of the film. Due to this, the film had a very unsatisfying ending.

Despite its short comings, Stake Land had a lot going for it. Such as Mister. Mister was extremely bad ass. He single-handedly, knocked rainbows out of the zompires and completely destroyed them. He survived being thrown to a pack of zompires, with no weapons. The zompires really didn’t stand a chance, against Mister. (He was also rather nice to look at, for an old guy.)

thumbnail_aeed6214-5681-407d-ad6d-8e4c915d8ef9His relationship with Martin, was really sweet, too. They had more than, just a teacher pupil relationship. It was more like, father and son. You could tell they both, cared very much for each other and that they weren’t just using each other, as tools to survive. You could tell, they seen each other as family. This made Stake Land, really nice to watch and very touching. However, this is what makes the ending, kind of sad and unsatisfying.

Finally, the most important thing. The quality of the zompires. They were pretty good. They looked scary, weren’t incredibly cheesy and didn’t look fake. They weren’t TWD quality, but are probably as good as you can get, without making them look too graphical or unrealistic. They were still creepy as hell. They drooled blood and made what I think is, bear noises. Creating a very disturbing and frightening looking zompire, that when vocal, sent chills down your spine.

However, there wasn’t very many of zompires and no super gory or comical zompire deaths. For a vampire/zombie horror movie, I would have expected a lot more zompires and would expect them, to be more of a problem. They just seemed to be a background danger, that wasn’t that big of a threat. But, I think this was down to, the film focusing more on other groups of survivors, as a bigger threat.

Overall, this film was a very mild horror movie. It wasn’t scary and could be watched, by those easily scared, without becoming too frightened. It did have a jump scare in the first 5 minutes, but after that, it was very mild and there isn’t very many scary parts. It also took in interesting look at, how religion would impact society, if the world was filled with zompires, which is kind of scary, but fascinating.

Stake land isn’t that bad of movie. It’s okay, but just okay. I would only recommend it, if you were stuck for something to watch and wanted a horror. For hard-core zombie fans and lovers of gore, this film will not quench your zombie thirst, but is a good start, in a zombie film binge watch.
Rating: 2.5/5

Zombie 101

e94272cc-b7a3-426d-abd7-45a767129f2fHaving watched zombie movies back to back all weekend, as part of zombie week. I’ve noticed something all zombie movies have it common (other than zombies). The characters in these movies, all are completely rubbish at surviving. Yes, I know some are hard-core zombie slayers. But when it comes to basic survival common sense, it seems to be lost on them.

If these characters were real, I doubt they would survive a weekend camping, let alone a zombie apocalypse. With the stuff they pull and the horrible decision they make, like taking on a whole herd of zombies single-handed. They should be zombie food at the beginning of the movie. But then we wouldn’t have a movie.

So, with that in mind, I created a list on how to survive a zombie apocalypse and not get eaten. (This is not a serious list and is just my opinion. Therefore, if you need survival advice, seek the advice of a professional survivalist)

1. Stay up high. You can’t get eaten, if those zombies can’t reach you. I don’t know how many zombie films I’ve watched, were night falls and they set up camp. Then just sleep on the ground. How stupid can you get? Yeah, pretty sure you would get eaten if you did that.
Sleeping high up in a tree or on a flat roof top, is a much better idea, if you don’t want to be eaten. All you need is a bit of rope ensure you can’t fall to your death. If your planning to stay long-term, you can always build a tree house for shelter or build a camp on a flat roof. The roof top would also give you room to grow food (if you can get grow-bags up there), well out of reach of zombies. Plus, you never have to worry about herds, you can wait them out, on the roof tops.

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The walking dead cup (my favourite cup)

2. Wear clothing zombies can’t bite through, like motorbike gear and leather. Zombies can’t eat you, if their teeth can’t bite through your clothing. This also prevents being bitten by those sneaky zombies, that hide down low.

3. Don’t break open locked doors. They are locked for a reason. That reason most likely being, a huge, hungry zombie locked inside. Open that door and you’re zombie food. In zombie movies, there’s always that one idiot that insists on opening that suspicious locked door and gets everyone eaten.

4. Watch your feet and stay alert. Some many deaths happen because no one looks were they are standing and watches out for hidden zombies. It’s just a shame, no one sees that zombie, causally sitting there on the ground, waiting for its next meal to walk past. It’s so obvious, but they’re too busy looking at that zombie in the distance, to notice one sitting right at their feet.

bcab1a8a-28a4-4478-8f97-d4c6b70d622f5. Keep a dog or 2 around. Not only would they keep spirits up, but they can smell dead things from miles away. Train a dog to signal when a zombie is near and you have your own zombie sniffer dog. What better way to avoid zombies and not get eaten. Dogs can also be used to hunt, for warmth, to find food and for protection from thugs.

6. Don’t rely on canned foods. Everyone will be fighting each other for canned food, so it could get dangerous. Canned food will also eventually run out, so growing food would make you a target, for other survivors. Storing food will also make you a huge target and could get you killed. A much better option is hunting and gathering. If you’re not such what’s eatable, get a book on foraging from a library or book store (probably the least likely place to run into zombies).

7. Stay away from that sick or injured person. This sounds like a no brainer, but in zombie films, they always stupidly go help, without taking any precautions. A short while later the person turns and tries to eat everyone. They could have at least tied the person up, for peace sake. It’s as if they want to be eaten.

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Coconut Head. Left alone in a car, with a notebook and a pen. Doodling bound to happen. Don’t like drawing in pen, though. You can’t erase and you’re stuck with whatever you draw.        

8. Don’t trust that random guy, that turns up from nowhere, promising shelter and safety. Seems like common sense, but no. In the films, they all follow that nice stranger to his camp, where they are attacked, robbed or imprisoned. So, if a stranger offers to take you to their camp, ran for your life, in the opposite direction, as fast as you can.

9. Avoid large groups. Large groups only attract herds of zombies. Plus, it’s much harder to find enough food to feed a large group, so you’ll most likely go hungry. A small group of 3 or 4, is much better. There’s enough eyes, to watch out for zombie and enough hands to fend them off. It is also much easier to find enough food for 3 or 4 people.

10. If trapped by zombies, with no way out, play zombie. Sounds silly, but always works in the movies and I can see why. They are zombies, not geniuses. If you look, smell and act like a zombie, they won’t be able to tell the difference. So, if you find yourself trapped, quickly smother yourself in zombie juice, pull your best zombie pose and limp the hell out of there.