The Shop of Nightmares

I’m back posting again. To be honest I had this post ready to be published about 3 weeks ago, but then tragedy struck and I didn’t feel much like blogging (or anything in fact). To keep things short and from getting too depressing, I’ll try to explain how things went from enjoying the summer sunshine to absolute shock and misery, in as little words as I can. Out of nowhere my aunt dropped dead. She wasn’t sick or old or anything, she was only in her 50’s. She just collapsed one evening and died with no warnings. The day before she was babysitting her grandchildren and was very much alive, then the next day she was dead. It was just so sudden and out of the blue, no one seen it coming and left everyone in the family in a state of shock. It hard not to think like this, but its leaves you fearful that someone else might go so suddenly. On top of the shock of my aunt death, the Grim Reaper decided to be a complete a-hole and took my poor wee dog too. Granted my dog was 17 years old and it was bound to happen sooner or later, but for fring sake could death not have left my poor wee dog alone until we all got over the shock and grief of losing an auntie. I might start ranting so I’ll move on before I depress everyone.

Back to the post, before everything happened, I created this short little comic strip just for a bit laugh. It’s based on a few rather messed up trips to the 24hr supermarket I made a night. I’m not sure about anywhere else in the world but after 9pm the 24hr supermarket transforms into a hotspot for the weird and wacky. It’s pretty much a jungle in there, where all the creepiest and strangest people of the night, hide from harsh glow of the city’s neon lights. Laying in wait for someone to thoroughly creep out. Okay I might have got a little carried away there, maybe the people of the night aren’t like animals waiting to pounce, but they can be very strange. Which makes going to the 24hr supermarket when you’ve ran out of milk, bread or tea/coffee for the morning and have no option but to venture inside at night, that little more of a creepy experience. Anyway, for a bit of fun I’ve drawn a few of my strangest encounters with the late-night customers of the 24hr supermarket and made it into the shopping trip from hell. Hope you enjoy!thumbnail_EC88DA09-7A14-4FE6-921D-6A46670129D5thumbnail_DD869ABE-CB8D-4E1D-B6A0-0A042A4482ABthumbnail_58E2D403-93B6-4642-9B87-CBA948CF4558thumbnail_B24BFEF8-12EA-4A5D-A597-26D2C73D5F01

thumbnail_018AEE1F-9628-4293-8D67-0B6A8086947Cthumbnail_FBB6BF16-373A-4E16-9B2A-D0343E3E82FDthumbnail_E74F10F6-7D3D-422A-8C41-FC11804677A4thumbnail_E7A2A60F-63F1-4E88-8055-016A7DB987F5So here we are at the end of the comic strip and the end of the post, I hope it at least gave you a little bit of giggle. All I can say is thank god these supermarkets are well covered by CCTV and have security guards that take no nonsense. If you’ve ever had strange encounters with people in the 24hr supermarket or convenience store and would like to share, feel free to in the comments below.

As always, Thanks for reading!

Meet Tattoo Girl

20170524_100645 (1)I took the 3-year-old (Orly) shopping with me and she begged me to buy her tattoos. She said she wanted to be a tattoo girl. To be honest, I was going to be an old grump and tell her no, but the thoughts of her dressed up as a tattoo girl was too darn cute. So, I got her tattoos.

Before anyone goes crazy at me for what I let Orly do next, I would like to point out that these are temporary stick-on tattoos, for ages 3 and up, are non-toxic and can easily be removed with a bit of baby oil and cotton wool. So, as long as I supervise Orly, she can’t come to any harm from stick-on tattoos. Plus, you can’t expect the child to be like a doll and sit there covered in cotton wool, doing nothing all day. You have to encourage their creativity and let them experience new things. Orly loves dressing up and spend more time in dress-up clothes than normal clothes. For a 3-year-old she really good at putting a dress-up character together and it’s her creative outlet. So, if she wants to dress-up as a tattoo girl, I’m going to let her. It benefits her development greatly, so why not.

20170524_113814.jpgThe tattoos she picked out are pretty cool. A lot of little skulls and love hearts, not what you’d expect a little girl to pick. Unfortunately, they weren’t ready cut out so I had to cut them out for her.

The packet didn’t lie. It said easy to apply and they weren’t kidding. All it took to transfer the tattoo from the paper to Orly’s arm, was a wipe with a damp sponge. The child watched me do it once and she wanted to do it herself. To my surprise, she actually could. Tattoo girl is her character, so from there she had full rein and I let Orly do as she pleased with the tattoos.

vLuckily, she stuck to tattooing her arms, so removing these when she finished being tattoo girl shouldn’t take that long. Her finished character was awesome and the tattoos worked great. She kind of looks like a little biker. All she needed was a motorbike and a little leather jacket. She not my child, so I couldn’t include a picture of her full outfit, but trust me it was so cute and really well done.

oUnfortunately for me, my niece decided, one of the things tattoo girl does is tattoo other people. Being the only other person in the house, I ended up being covered in tattoos too and got renamed tattoo sister (Orly came up with it).

rShe really went all out. I think she put more tattoos on me, than she put on herself. Most importantly, she had great fun being tattoo girl and really enjoyed herself. It’s funny how something as simple as a packet of temporary tattoos, can bring a child so much entertainment and happiness.

20170524_112316Yeah, she literally didn’t miss a spot.  Pretty much stuck a tattoo on every part of my arms that wasn’t covered by my sleeves.

yTo be honest, I didn’t mind being used as her play subject, this time. I quite like my new temporary tattoos, especially the elephant and candy skull. When she decides to include me in her games, I usually end up a lot worser for wear than this. This time, I got some cool tattoos and escaped without injury, so was a good day for both of us.

Top 10 Women’s Clothing Hates

955b828c-d26b-409d-a2d4-385889177093Since I’ve way too much clothes and nowhere to put them, I’ve been forced to clear out my wardrobe. While rummaging through the depths of my wardrobe, finding clothing that probably hadn’t seen the light of day for many years, I noticed something. I buy clothes (thinking they’re nice), wear them once (if even) then take an extreme dislike to them and never wear them again. After having rid my wardrobe of the clothes I hated, I can now see how big of a problem this was and I’m guessing there’s a lot of other people with this problem. So, for this reason, I introduce to you My Top 10 Women’s Clothing Hates:

10.Clothes never look as good as on the mannequin.I fall for this all the time. I go into the shop, see a really nice outfit on the mannequin and decide to buy it. I take it home, put it on, do the big reveal for my sister and nieces, and they’re on the ground laughing at the state of me or looking at me with that “got to pretend she looks nice” face. At this point, I go to the mirror and realise I look like I’m auditioning for clown college or in fancy dress. I try returning these outfits, but as usual I can’t find the receipt, so to the back of the cupboard they go.

9.Pocket Size.This happens a lot with jeans and jeggings. I buy a new pair of jeans or jeggings. I’m walking about feeling all good, enjoying that new jeans feeling and I go to put my phone in my pocket. But oh wait, it doesn’t fit because these pockets are baby sized and my phone is normal size. Now I have to walk around holding my phone and try not to set it down and lose it. As you can tell this one winds me up something awful.

8.Boob gap in shirt buttons. Got to hate when you buy a shirt in a rush, goto put it on and button it up. Then realise it doesn’t fit around your boobs, leaving huge gap between the buttons, revealing what you got under your shirt. I don’t have biggest pair and this happens to me a lot, so I can’t even begin to imagine, how annoying this must be for the larger breasted lady,

7.Badly fitted clothes. It is ridiculously hard to find clothing, fitted for the realistically proportioned person. Usually what happens, is that a top will fits in the stomach but is too tight in the chest. I try a size bigger and it fits in the chest now, but is massive in the stomach. This then leaves me with the choice of either wearing a top that fits my stomach but may pop at the chest at any minute or that fits my chest but looks baggy as hell. Not wanting to spring out of my top, I always go for the latter.

6.Fake Pockets. The only thing that annoys me more than tiny baby pockets, is fake pockets. I’ve been tricked by this numerous times. I buy a jacket or coat, thinking it has pockets and that it’ll solve my baby pocket problem. Get it home and find out the pockets are fake. This has happened me with both really expensive coats and reasonably priced coats, so it can’t just be a “get what you pay for” problem. When I buy a coat that cost over £100 I expect those things posing as pockets, to actually be pockets and not just sewed on bits of material. This only annoys me more, when I realise my jeans have baby pockets, so pretty much still have no functioning pockets. I feel so cheated and betrayed by the clothing industry every time this happens and would really like it to stop. Like why do this, if you aren’t trying to trick people into thinking the clothes has pockets. I my opinion I consider it false advertisement and being misleading.

5.See through clothes.This can be really embarrassing if you don’t notice until you’re out in public or if someone points it out. Also, it kind of forces you to go out and spend more money on under tops if you ever want to wear that top again. I don’t understand why they make clothes like this. I am pretty sure most people don’t want to be walking around with their underwear showing, for all to see. This isn’t just a cheap clothing problem; a lot of designer clothes are see through now too. It leaves me questioning whether manufacturers have gotten so greedy that they’re using material so thin that its see trough, just to save on costs and increase profit. When think about it would make sense. Half the thickness, half the amount of material needed and charge the same price. Twice as much clothes can be made from the material, so double the profit. When people have no other choice but to buy this clothing, it’s really a no brainer.

4.Quality. This usually isn’t noticeable until clothes are washed for the first time. It’s so hard to find clothes that wash well. They either lost their shape, go all bally or shrink. Also, I’ve notice jean material is getting thinner and thinner, so jeans rip a whole lot easier. Basically, what I’m trying to say is clothes quality has gotten god awful and I can only see it getting worse. The stitching in clothes is even becoming completely rubbish. It undoes with barely any pulling or stretching. The other month in was in a shop and I found pyjama bottoms that weren’t stitched properly and had a massive whole in the leg. I showed them to the server at the till and they said they’ll get someone to check the rest of the bottom because it happens all the time. Like what the hell, is there no quality control. This shop is rather pricey so you would expect this to be rare. It seems like no thought has been put into quality at all.

3.Jean leg lengths. Being short, this is one of my biggest pet peeves when buying jeans. A few years ago, a short leg in jeans was 28iches and regular was 30iches, then suddenly most shops changed short leg to 30iches. I have baby legs, so just got away with 28iches, but now with this new sizing, short leg jeans are far too big and my feet get lost in the jeans. Every time I need new jeans, I have to go on a massive search for shops that still use the old leg sizes. It’s so annoying and kind of unfair that short people are no longer catered for by most shops. This problem could easily be fixed if shops started selling extra short legs at 28inches or went back to the old sizes.

2.Sizes. This relates to the previous point, but is more forced on the fact that there is no standardise sizes for women’s clothes. There can be a massive difference in the same clothes size in different shops. Just to make this more of a mind field, the same clothes size in different ranges in the same shop can differ greatly too. This means you have to try on everything and can’t trust the label, making clothes shopping take a lot longer than it has to. It’s so frustrating. Not sure how much of a problem this is for everyone else, but in my wardrobe, I have clothing ranging from UK size 12 to UK to 20. It’s crazy. How can clothing that meant to have just a big difference in size, still fit me equally as well. Completely Bananas.

1.They are not warm. I hate being cold so this is my number one hate. Where I live, it can reach -6oC or lower in winter, so when I buy winter clothes I want them to be warm. Unfortunately, most of the times they are not. Coat that claim to keep you warm, are like wearing nothing. I haven’t had a warm coat in years. This year the temperature dropped to -10oC and I was freezing. I had to run home and find my old coat and wear it under my new coat, just to be not as cold (I was still pretty cold). I find myself having to wear layers and layers of clothes just to stay remotely warm, even then the temperature isn’t below freezing. I don’t know if men clothing is the same, but really wish they made clothes that were truly warm.